alive

oh ever so alive, i be! feeling the pulse of each breath each breath being life and death death and life life and death and so it goes on pulsating. so dead the past is. oh so very dead the memories that be!

pain, addiction and the generality of nothing

i think. sometimes. maybe. all i need is the smallest of all gestures, and then i am calm again. you show up in the remotest corner of my horizon, you are peace. oh, i do not understand this, and i am delighted in my lack of understanding. would we be able to access solitude and silence in the nurturing arms of each other's respect?

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embrace

fragility, insecurity, doubt, and the whole of what makes us imperfect, makes you and i so alive and real. the ideal, the dream, the utopia, and all the wonderful constructs of abstraction and fiction, those too are real. i just do not want to confuse the physical reality with the abstract reality. we talked and i smiled my mask, i talked a lot, and what i want most is to share silence with you. i love the words, i live with the words, and with you, why would i need words? there is no argument, no reason, and no wisdom that will make you cross that bridge between us. silence is the bridge, and it needs no argument, no reason and no wisdom. my invitation is sincere, you embracing it is more than i have expected. i expect nothing, i am ready for all. between the muses and the angels, i am already in paradise.

ecstasy

the total absolute folly! i refuse to call this love or to call it anything at all. do you know it? can you imagine it? you are human, raw, animal, lustful and stressed. your brain steals from you the greatest of carnal pleasures, and you stand there spent, insecure and with an omnipotent resolve to hold on to your dignity. you and i share one thing, or perhaps nothing at all beyond a few erratic moments of pleasure displaced by waves of ought to be or not be. yet, it is. if we share it, then it is that thing of seeing each other's vulnerabilities and weaknesses and not giving a damn about it. i do not identify with your erection, and you do not identify with my bank account. or is the other way around? what ecstasy, that of not caring is.