last week i returned to the city that harbours memories of rough and unadulterated rawness. radical changes follow my visits to the city. there is an after, after this city. it is the one for wine, music, horses and theatre. did i mention sugar and coffee? it is a city first explored with a mystery on tow, and where i started to remember what i had forgotten while distracted. this time...
it all started with not making compromises. then the roughness of a morning that torpedoed all good intentions of bravery, and for a few days i lost track of time and academic preoccupations. a long standing relationship from the early sunny days of graduate school was transformed beyond recognition. back then, in that summer when the plug was pulled on the illusion, i got the physical taste of what i rarely experience: the roughness and the power. force, the abandon to force and the surrender to the air that we breathe. after that, once more i chose the monk's life; it was not easy to understand. it goes on. another time it was work and the city hall kind of thing, the usual, as routine as my usual is, but nothing to write about. then it all crashed, and like a few weeks back, once more i pulled a few more plugs from their sockets.
now. different circumstances, different people, different restaurants, different beds. it all changes. it does. i am thinking of that morning and the rawness of it.
