i have this nagging feeling that my father is dying. i am at a loss. my parents have been on my mind a lot lately. i spoke with my mother yesterday and i could feel all her fear. i did not like one bit of it.
i also do not like it that i have this sense that my father is dying, if he did, it would however not surprise me the least bit. i think he has realized something about his life and the pain that this causes him may be more than he can bear. he was never a very strong man. as a matter of my own experience, he is one of the weakest men that i have ever come across, the total opposite of his father whom he has always been so fond of criticizing and moralizing over. i always identified with my grandfather and our biographies do run a few parallels, for that reason any criticism from his son, my father, towards him is something that i always took personally.
i do not like this at all!
